Overcoming the Past

Could there be a coaching degree for  Surviving Trauma?

        The list below is meant to reveal that I have survived a variety of traumatic seasons.

Thankfully, my story is one of overcoming so I thought I would list some challenges that I have faced. I hope to give an idea of why I want to blog about surviving trauma well.

Some of the Bumps in my Story

 My bi-polar, schizophrenic mother who attempted suicide four times

Mother figure at 13 to three younger siblings during her long stays in mental hospitals

Sexual abuse

Painful divorce

Single Parent to three hurting adolescent children

Two children with learning disabilities

Breast Cancer and Melanoma

Medication induced psychosis that left me suicidal and depressed for a year.

 Neck Fusion and Open Heart Surgery 5 months apart

Chronic pain syndrome (I hate the word Fibromyalgia)

Extreme Allergies

     My desire is to encourage other hearts with the grace I have discovered and hopefully give some coping skills that might be of benefit to others who find themselves struggling with their own list.  Many people have endured worse that this, but this isn’t a competition.  I’m hoping for a fellowship of those driven to look for life and courage during dark days, months, and years.

     In the midst of this drama, I have discovered a peculiar lonesomeness.  I’m so thankful for the friends who have walked with me through parts of the above list.  But there is something isolating about chronic pain that lasts longer than it should.  Very few people can share the full journey because it is challenging to be around long term pain.  It makes us uncomfortable, maybe we want an explanation.    In our humanity, we want to understand how to avoid it.

       So my first  secret to share is:  don’t focus on having your pain understood.  Suffering is a very individual journey.  Suffering is subjective.  We need to connect with those around us and recognize how much information is necessary to share with friends based on our level of intimacy.  In order to do that ,  we can try to consider how to present the facts about the pain.  It can be turned into a story with hope. Of course there are a few meltdowns that come from a personal crisis,  but if those are too frequent, a good counselor saves the day.

     I have been listening to women’s stories and trying to help them move through their crisis for decades.  It is amazing to help others find hope in dark days.  So here’s hoping there are people searching out there for who want to share the adventure of  becoming….